i have to email her again on april 1st.
i need to pay first months rent on may 1st and it’s getting ridiculous waiting for this money. i can’t wait any more. i don’t want to be pushy, but jesus christ. it’s my 700-odd dollars and this is something she said she’d take care of.
If she showed up right now and asked me to come back
It sounds so obvious, but I couldn’t be with someone who would break up with me.
that being said, I’m sure she wouldn’t do that because I still trust that she did what was best for her. And having her unhappy wouldn’t have been right for me.
I’m where I should be.
what i want more than anything
is for both of us to be happy. whatever that entails.
i think this is what i’ll email back. i’m gonna let it sit for a few first though.
I was going to email you today actually. Just to check in.
I had a nice time at home. It was good to get away. I signed a lease Monday for a place for next year. Luckily, this place didn’t need as much money for a deposit, so it wasn’t a problem.
I’m sure you’re doing whatever you can about that. I do appreciate it. I haven’t heard back either. We’ll get it worked out though. I’m not worried. I hope that you’ve had a good break and that the vagina monologues went well. I’m sure they did.
she emailed me first
she was just telling me there was nothing to tell me about the money.
i’m going to email her back so she doesn’t think i’m stonewalling her.
i really don’t have any more anger toward her.
i’m going to have to email her. i haven’t talked to her at all since her drunk call.
honestly, it’s been nice not having to concern myself with it.
i have to get this money shit worked out though. it’s almost 800$ and i have no idea when i’m getting it back.
signed a lease today
and i bought condoms.
i feel like these are significant steps.
i think if i saw her now
i would just say hi and move on.
yay for all the couples!
THAT RIGHT THERE IS THE PROBLEM! STOP IT! STOP IT! MY 23 YEAR OLD SELF IS YELLING AT YOU TO STOP IT!
Just chill. Get really busy. Stop wanting or needing a boyfriend. Spend less time showering and doing make up, even if you already only shower 4 times a week and just wear mascara. I have never dated anyone worth dating unless it was inconvenient for me because I had so much of my own shit going on.
And also? Being single is fucking FUNBALLS. Like, you don’t have to call anyone and be like “Yes, I had fun at the bar. No, I didn’t talk to any guys. Yes, I love you. Yes, I’ll call you tomorrow.” Not having to report the deets to anyone is pretty great, so enjoy it more so you can have a boyfriend. Trust me, it’s more logical than it sounds.